Ahoy ye land lubbin loaf abouts! Tis I, Captain Mitch, Pilot of the 4th alliance Zombie Submarine 920. Currently we're in deep sea water, and steamin along an above the ocean floor.
When I gets a chance I retire to my cabin and bang out a page about our voyage, then I stuff it in an old whisky bottle and pop it out the port torpedo tube.
Sorry if this one got a little soggy mates. I'll use me a cork next time Arrrgggh.