Monday, June 26, 2006
CITIZENS OF APE CITY, YOU HAVE BEEN DECEIVED
Good people of ape city, It has fallen to me, Dr. Zaius , to explain to you the treacherous web of deception perpetrated by the human known as: "Mitchell". Some time ago, it was reported among you that this human had been ransomed away by the evil General Aldo, and taken to the forbidden zone. I assure you now that such reports have been greatly exaggerated. While it is true that this human has journeyed to the land forbidden to us by the great lawgiver, I have recently uncovered artifacts that prove not only, that he was not kidnapped, but moreover that he went there willingly to seek refuge from his masters.
Upon further examination of his cage I found rudimentary writting and drawing utensils, on loan to him from Dr. Zira, to be missing. Furthermore, it has been known to his fellow humans that for sometime now he has been busy fufilling requests for drawings and illustrations of all manner since the creation of this blog. These facts, coupled with the evidence that he is slipping in his release date of zombie boy, lead me to the conclusion that he has concocted this entire story of being held prisoner merely as a ruse to concentrate more fully on his artistic commitments.
In an attempt to remedy this situation I instructed the signal corps to send a mirrored message to Mitch on yesterday morning. The message implored him to return to Ape City at once, or failing that to send more ape related artwork until his mission is completed. I urge you all to return now to your tree houses and prepare for Tuesday's free day of pizza.